How to Find (and Keep) Great Babysitters

This week, a babysitter who has been part of our family for nearly a year said “farewell for now” as she moves on to a new city. We are so thrilled for her but also sad that we will not have her around for regular and last-minute needs, like when your son needs to go to the ED and you need someone to stay with your daughter (because yes, that actually happened this week).

I have talked about babysitters with guests on the podcast, and personally, I believe they are such a gift for kids. Having a sitter, especially one who sees your children often, gives your kids the gift of another trusted adult who loves them and looks out for them.

As someone who grew up loving her babysitters, then became a young adult who loved the families she babysat for, and now is a parent watching her kids love their babysitters, it feels full circle. It truly is such a gift.

Over the years, I have developed a few practices for finding and keeping great babysitters. Here are my go-to tips:

Find and vet them

We use our local neighborhood sitters’ Facebook group to find most of ours. When I post, I am specific about the type of help we need (occasional sitter, morning hours, or nanny), the pay, and even details like who else is in the house (including the dog). I look closely at how people respond, and proper grammar goes a long way for me. I always ask for references, schedule a call with those I am interested in, and then set up a time for them to meet the kids for a vibe check.

I have also asked friends for sitter recommendations, but I am conscious about how I use those sitters - I never want to “poach” a sitter from a friend. I’ve been in that situation, and it’s made me more judicious about how I share sitters with friends.

Give it a test run/check the vibes

During that first visit, I usually schedule it after school, and make dinner while the sitter plays with the kids¹. They’re not always at their best in this hour so it’s a good indicator of how they can engage them, in a safe space while I’m home. Afterwards, I ask my kids what they thought. We have had sitters who were an obvious yes and others who were not, and my kid’s feedback is critical.

Save them in your phone so they are easy to find

Sitters who make the cut get saved in my phone with their “company” listed as “babysitter.” This way, when I search “sitter,” I instantly see a list of names. It has been a huge help when I suddenly realize I forgot to book someone. I also add their pay rate in the notes, so there’s no question in the future.

Nurture the relationship

If you want to keep using a sitter you love, regular use makes a difference - as long as it fits your budget. We are not doing weekly date nights right now, but we do aim for monthly ones or the occasional weekend hours to run errands or catch up on projects. We have even asked sitters to watch the dog when we travel.

Show them you appreciate them

Our social lives do not function without good sitters, so keeping them happy is essential. We offer to cover dinner delivery, and we usually tip an extra half hour to an hour depending on how long they were there and what the situation was like when we got home. Did the kids put up a bedtime fight? Were we later than we said we would be? That little bit of extra goes a long way.

Keep communication easy

When we start using a sitter regularly, I create a group chat with my husband and the sitter so all of us can communicate in one thread. We also reassure our sitters that we would rather they text or call than sit and stress about something. We give them clear instructions and a “cheat sheet” for rules and guidelines, but making sure they know we are just a call away makes everyone feel better.

Respect your own boundaries

It takes a lot for me to get comfortable with a sitter to drive my kids. We’ve only allowed a very select few to drive our kids around, and even then, it’s in our car or in a carseat I’ve installed. I’m not comfortable with a sitter bathing our kids - bath time is stressful to me, as you might know, and I’d rather we get them clean before a sitter comes.

Allowing other people access to your kids can feel really scary, but we’ve found in our experience that babysitters have given our kids another person to trust and learn from, and look up to. We’re so grateful for all of the sitters we’ve loved before and all those to come.

What’s for Dinner?

Sunday - Smash Burgs on the Blackstone

Monday - Honey Chipotle tacos

Tuesday - Nothing

Wednesday - Chicken and Rice from Defined Dish - my son’s first day request

Thursday - Takeout Burmese

More A Day In Her Life:

• ICYMI - This week Nicole Conroy shared her days with us! This was such a fun conversation, especially getting on the chat and realizing Nicole and I are fellow Rhode Island natives! Summering in RI has always been the plan, and hearing how Nicole makes it work was inspiring.

• One Year Ago - A Day In Her Life with Nomi Goldman

• Two Years Ago - A Day in Her Life with Caro Chambers

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1. We do pay them for this time