Current Musings 5.16
thoughts on working motherhood
Mother’s Day this past Sunday had me thinking a lot about being a working mom, especially as I left early Monday for a work trip.
I’m in an incredibly busy stretch of work and I know the whole family is feeling it. I left in a frenzy on Monday morning, and 30 minutes into my drive, when my husband called me to say “have a good trip,” I lost it. I couldn’t do what I do without him, and I’m incredibly grateful for his support, but also can’t wait for this season to be a bit slower.
I grew up with a working mom. She had a high-powered career in New York, and took a pause when we moved to Rhode Island when I was 7 and my sister was 5. A few years later, she returned to work until retiring when I was in college.
Both of my parents were somewhat pioneers from a work/life perspective. My dad started working from home in the early '90s because he travelled so much during the week, and he kept that setup until he retired. My mom took her pause and then went back part time until eventually full time.
I didn’t realize that my situation was unique at the time, but I do now. I grew up with two parents with full careers and I never felt like I missed out on or lacked anything from them. I felt completely supported. I always assumed the same would be true of my future family. We’d both have careers, both be present parents, and boom, great.
lol.
One of the first things I felt as a mother was bone deep understanding that I knew nothing. Like nothing. I had truly no idea how I could possibly have a career and be a present mom. But I did know, I wanted to work, I wanted a career. I just couldn’t imagine how I’d do it. How did my mom do it? As with anything in parenthood, you discover how much capacity you truly have. You figure it out.
My mom returned to work at six weeks postpartum (her allotted leave back then), leaving me with a nanny, with no support and no tools to continue breastfeeding. I returned at thirteen weeks and I exclusively breastfed and pumped for my son for a year while making Diamond on Delta. My mom had an AA battery operated pump, I had a Willow.
I have so much more respect and understanding for everything my mom did now that I’m a mom, and as I continue in my career and my kids get older, that feeling is ever present. Today, I have so many more systems to use, resources to tap into, and peers to talk to about working motherhood than my mom did. She made it look easy, even though it wasn’t.
In the past seven and a half years as a working mom, I’ve been so lucky to have so many mentors and managers set the tone for me - from sharing their kids on Zoom, to bringing their daughter to the office, or putting “no childcare” on the calendar to signal they’re “on” for parenting. I’d like to think my mom was a role model for other moms - as a female executive with two kids, who rarely missed a sports game or family dinner, and always drove us to school.
I still don't know how my mom did it. But I'm starting to understand that maybe she didn't know either. So cheers to the working moms—the ones making it work, figuring it out, and crying in the car 30 minutes into a work trip because their partner called to say "have a good trip." We've got this.
What’s For Dinner:
Sunday - Salade Nicoise
Monday - Le Mazet in Hartford with Devan Jesmer
Tuesday - Lucy’s In Dorchester
Wednesday - Centro Highland
Thursday - Gus Gus in St Paul
Friday - Wedding
Saturday - TBD
More A Day In Her Life:
This week - I loved chatting with Kathryn in this week’s episode! it was so fun!
One Year Ago -
Two Years Ago -
Three Years Ago -
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loved this one and confident your daughter will wonder the same about you! xx
You are such an incredible mom and I’m so in awe of how you tackle working and motherhood. You’re amazing! I’m so glad you had such an incredible role model in your mom and Tim is such a great supportive partner 😭😭😭